Eating out
My mother, bless her, is not one for new experiences. However I live in the big city many many miles away, and she lives with my father in my small provincial home town. The upshot is that when my parents come visiting, they are going to meet some new experiences.
One of the new experiences that my mother didn't like today was going to a little Italian restaurant. Mum is a veggie and ended up ordering a salad (green salad as it turned out), but she didn't like the olive oil and balsamic vinegar that the salad was sitting in, further she was not too happy about the lack of things she expects to be in salads such as tomatoes and cucumber. The end result was some random sniping (see previous entry).
In retrospect, it was quite clear before we even walked in through the door and took our seats that mum was a little intimidated, and that accordingly she had made her mind up that she was not going to have a good time. This is not the first time my mother has displayed such behaviour.
Given yesterday's rules for "asking what he problems is" and the "responses that don't work", and the fact that this was a social situation where others were present, I have concluded that I must formulate a new plan for dealing with further occurrences of this behaviour.
To whit I have a new plan. Essentially, I don't want my mum to be upset, but also I think maybe she need to be a bit more considerate of the feelings of others around her. We are after all English, and emotional displays are right out!
The plan is as follows, the next time this happens, I'm going to stand up, call a waiter and explain the my mother does not like the meal in front of her, order her a new veggie option for delivery ASAP so she can eat with the rest of us as much as is possible, and have the meal she does not like taken away.
Now I should note that my mother would rather bleed uncontrollably out of her eyes than waste money, especially when the money is wasted on her.
It is my fervent hope that I don't have to do this too often before she realises that I'm going to do it every time.
Hopefully she will understand that she makes me uncomfortable doing what she does, and that I am doing the same to her. Just possibly she will rationalise that into a workable model for changed behaviour around me. More than likely I'll just get a smack round the head, an even angrier mother and a linguini in my lap. But one has to try new actions, as my mother has been acting this way for so long that all the obvious things have been tried already.
Fingers crossed, I'll let you know what happens next time, whenever that happens.
One of the new experiences that my mother didn't like today was going to a little Italian restaurant. Mum is a veggie and ended up ordering a salad (green salad as it turned out), but she didn't like the olive oil and balsamic vinegar that the salad was sitting in, further she was not too happy about the lack of things she expects to be in salads such as tomatoes and cucumber. The end result was some random sniping (see previous entry).
In retrospect, it was quite clear before we even walked in through the door and took our seats that mum was a little intimidated, and that accordingly she had made her mind up that she was not going to have a good time. This is not the first time my mother has displayed such behaviour.
Given yesterday's rules for "asking what he problems is" and the "responses that don't work", and the fact that this was a social situation where others were present, I have concluded that I must formulate a new plan for dealing with further occurrences of this behaviour.
To whit I have a new plan. Essentially, I don't want my mum to be upset, but also I think maybe she need to be a bit more considerate of the feelings of others around her. We are after all English, and emotional displays are right out!
The plan is as follows, the next time this happens, I'm going to stand up, call a waiter and explain the my mother does not like the meal in front of her, order her a new veggie option for delivery ASAP so she can eat with the rest of us as much as is possible, and have the meal she does not like taken away.
Now I should note that my mother would rather bleed uncontrollably out of her eyes than waste money, especially when the money is wasted on her.
It is my fervent hope that I don't have to do this too often before she realises that I'm going to do it every time.
Hopefully she will understand that she makes me uncomfortable doing what she does, and that I am doing the same to her. Just possibly she will rationalise that into a workable model for changed behaviour around me. More than likely I'll just get a smack round the head, an even angrier mother and a linguini in my lap. But one has to try new actions, as my mother has been acting this way for so long that all the obvious things have been tried already.
Fingers crossed, I'll let you know what happens next time, whenever that happens.
posted by C at 9:27 pm
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