A quiet day
Yesterday evening I picked my daughter A up from her mother's and we drove upto my home town in Yorkshire. We got there pretty late, so I had time once I arrived to have a cup of tea and hit the sack.
I was woken up in the nicest possible way by A sneakily climbing into my bed and cuddling up to me until I couldn't breathe. Ahhh, kids, you've gotta love 'em.
We got up (I used my anti SAD box for the first time) and then we headed off to the Lancashire coast to look at my parent's new place. They are in the process of buying a house to retire to on the coast. The place they are buying has the nicest sea view ever, and the town they are buying the place in is really quite horrid, but they live up the coast well away from the nasty end of town, so it is not too bad. I'm looking forward to visiting in the summer, when I am a skate demon and I can skate up and down the promenade, looking really tasty for the chicks. Ha ha.
I bought a couple of presents for people while I was there, you know how it is, you have to get people stuff when you got to the sea side right?
One thing I did notice during the day, was that I was very quiet, normally when I am in company, I am not necessarily the life and soul of the party, but I'm usually chatty and communicative. Today I was much more introspected, I thought about a lot of things, but mostly I just enjoyed walking up the sea front.
My father thought I was having another depressive episode, and I had to assure him that I was fine several times. It was nice of him to notice though.
Anyway, we then headed back to our base in Yorkshire.
A quick tea (yes that's what we call dinner up in Yorkshire) and I headed off down the pub to see some friends I haven't seen in a while.
D and E got married just at the time I was separating from S, so I felt it best to keep my distance from them, I guessed that they wouldn't like a bitter separee around while they were in their honeymoon period.
As I was making my way to the pub, I saw them walking in the same direction, so I jumped out of the car (well I asked my dad to stop first, then I jumped out) and intercepted them a couple of hundred yards short of the pub. The strange thing is that E is quite one of the most physical people I know, and the first thing she did was loop her arm through mine as we continued the walk. Strange that I should note such a moment, but what little human contact I get is so fleeting and rare, that I take great pleasure in such close contact and as such it become memorable.
Anyway, I got to see them for a few hours this evening, and it was all cool, we spoke about previous times and the future, and swapped shit stories, it was good to see them, I should make more of an effort.
After I had spent a couple of hours with D & E, I headed on to another pub to be with my dad for a few. This is man time, it is usually me, dad and his mate K, but K has recently acquired a lady friend, so he was not in attendance. Good luck to him, not bad for a guy in his late fifties, a man who I might add was quite convinced he had missed his chance a couple of years ago.
Dad and I talked about the nature of obsession, my previous post had really got me thinking about me and my psychological foibles. I also got onto the subject of neediness, and although I know I am needy, I'm starting to feel that this is no bad thing, most of us as humans are needy, but a lot of us put a face on, to give us some aloofness, to pretend we don't need. And it usually when the face slips and we show our true selves that relationships fail.
Yay, I'm going to be a totally needy fuck to all the future women in my life, if they can take it from day one, they will have no excuse to sack me at a a later date. Yeah right!
Rolled in home late from the pub and here I sit typing this. It had been an odd day for me, and I think I need to think about it some more before I understand what I am coming to terms with, but on the whole I feel better for having lived today.
Right in a minute I'm going to hit the sack.
But on careful thought, I'm going to wait until tomorrow before I publish this. A new rule has entered my head, never hit the publish button when you are drunk, it can only spell disaster.
I was woken up in the nicest possible way by A sneakily climbing into my bed and cuddling up to me until I couldn't breathe. Ahhh, kids, you've gotta love 'em.
We got up (I used my anti SAD box for the first time) and then we headed off to the Lancashire coast to look at my parent's new place. They are in the process of buying a house to retire to on the coast. The place they are buying has the nicest sea view ever, and the town they are buying the place in is really quite horrid, but they live up the coast well away from the nasty end of town, so it is not too bad. I'm looking forward to visiting in the summer, when I am a skate demon and I can skate up and down the promenade, looking really tasty for the chicks. Ha ha.
I bought a couple of presents for people while I was there, you know how it is, you have to get people stuff when you got to the sea side right?
One thing I did notice during the day, was that I was very quiet, normally when I am in company, I am not necessarily the life and soul of the party, but I'm usually chatty and communicative. Today I was much more introspected, I thought about a lot of things, but mostly I just enjoyed walking up the sea front.
My father thought I was having another depressive episode, and I had to assure him that I was fine several times. It was nice of him to notice though.
Anyway, we then headed back to our base in Yorkshire.
A quick tea (yes that's what we call dinner up in Yorkshire) and I headed off down the pub to see some friends I haven't seen in a while.
D and E got married just at the time I was separating from S, so I felt it best to keep my distance from them, I guessed that they wouldn't like a bitter separee around while they were in their honeymoon period.
As I was making my way to the pub, I saw them walking in the same direction, so I jumped out of the car (well I asked my dad to stop first, then I jumped out) and intercepted them a couple of hundred yards short of the pub. The strange thing is that E is quite one of the most physical people I know, and the first thing she did was loop her arm through mine as we continued the walk. Strange that I should note such a moment, but what little human contact I get is so fleeting and rare, that I take great pleasure in such close contact and as such it become memorable.
Anyway, I got to see them for a few hours this evening, and it was all cool, we spoke about previous times and the future, and swapped shit stories, it was good to see them, I should make more of an effort.
After I had spent a couple of hours with D & E, I headed on to another pub to be with my dad for a few. This is man time, it is usually me, dad and his mate K, but K has recently acquired a lady friend, so he was not in attendance. Good luck to him, not bad for a guy in his late fifties, a man who I might add was quite convinced he had missed his chance a couple of years ago.
Dad and I talked about the nature of obsession, my previous post had really got me thinking about me and my psychological foibles. I also got onto the subject of neediness, and although I know I am needy, I'm starting to feel that this is no bad thing, most of us as humans are needy, but a lot of us put a face on, to give us some aloofness, to pretend we don't need. And it usually when the face slips and we show our true selves that relationships fail.
Yay, I'm going to be a totally needy fuck to all the future women in my life, if they can take it from day one, they will have no excuse to sack me at a a later date. Yeah right!
Rolled in home late from the pub and here I sit typing this. It had been an odd day for me, and I think I need to think about it some more before I understand what I am coming to terms with, but on the whole I feel better for having lived today.
Right in a minute I'm going to hit the sack.
But on careful thought, I'm going to wait until tomorrow before I publish this. A new rule has entered my head, never hit the publish button when you are drunk, it can only spell disaster.
posted by C at 11:26 pm
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