An explanation for Sandy's freak out.

Well more work has been done on the new home (see here), and everyone is working themselves into an exhaustion. I'm really looking forward to just a full day's work tomorrow.

Sandy and I have had our 'chat', and it turns out that her bad day was a complete and utter nightmare of a day. It seems that she and her ex have not quite parted ways completely, as she still has some of his stuff in her storage locker and he still has some of her stuff in his mother's place.

Since she hadn't talked to him for over a week, he threw his dummy out of the pram, and texted her to tell her to get her stuff out of his mother's house.

When Sandy turned up, he asked for a private word, then promptly gave her a valentines day card.

To whit her reply was, “Thanks, I'm flattered, but you know it's over right?”.

He then gave her a diamond ring, to whit the replay was, “WTF??!?!??!??!” (Or similar).

Then he announced that he had booked her an appointment at a fertility specialist for a check-up, reasoning that she should be in tip-top condition if they were going to have kids!

At this point Sandy was just a tad (OK, abso-fucking-lutely) freaked out by the whole thing, and asked him what on Earth he thought he was doing, going through her private papers, and making appointments with her doctor!

In a reversion to typical form... her ex then kicked off like a 3-year old being refused chocolate by his mother at the newsagents, threw her stuff out of the window at his mother's place and started shouting and screaming. (A point of high irony here: only moments before he had promised to keep his temper in check, and to stop acting like a 3-year old with ADHD!)

I understand why she was in a state, I'm not a woman, or even particualy good at empathy for a bloke, but even I can empathise with the sense of violation she must have felt being put in that spot by the idiot ex, especially reading through her private papers.

The final result is that Sandy has agreed to move in with me (as a friend, not as a partner, or at least as a partner on a trial basis or something, who knows...)

She has also promised not to dwell on things until they drive her mad in a corrosive downward spiral.

Sandy arrives & the Monday freak out explained.

Finally spoke to Sandy today on the phone, seems she wasn't expecting me to say what I said in the email. More importantly, she said she is not good at phone calls in stressful situations, and to this end there were an awful lot of pregnant pauses in the conversation, this explained the evasion on the phone thing. In the end I convinced her to come on over and we would have a face to face chat when she got to the new house. There has been so much going on today with the whole decorating thing, it has been mad, read more here.

Sandy and I didn't have an 'important' conversation as such, but we did sort things out in a 'for now' kind of way, when we are not both totally exhausted (she chipped in with the whole decorating thing like a trooper), we'll have a proper conversation and sort out what ever worries she's having.

Jenny was glad that Sandy had turned up, as me stressing about Sandy was making her stressed out too. (It's not too good being told you are giving off such a stressed vibe, that you are making the people around you want to cry! Eeek!)