Qualification...

But not starting till Monday, we understand each other right?

I will start Monday honest.

No honest I will.

You'll see.

New Year's Resolutions

OK, I've given it some hard thought, and here's what I have come up with:

1. Back on "The Diet". I have been shit at eating of recent, and I have put on some weight, I need to get back to the "one true path" once more.
2. I need to get back on "The Exercise Regime", to whit I shall be back in the treadmill at least three times per week every week.
3. I am going to go on a date at least one-two times per fortnight as spare time dictates.
4. I am going to stop being such a stupidly shy fuck. Thus I shall talk to more chicks, and I shall get more telephone numbers, and I shall get laid more often. Two and a half years is too long a drought. Although I did plan this, its time has ended now.
   
5. I am going to be more selfish. I spend too much time being nice to other people, caring about their wellbeing, while they in turn suck me dry (and no we are not talking sex here.) There are however levels to which I will not stoop.
   
6. I am going to show a little more commitment to my work life. Time to stop blowing things off, fucking about until I am sacked and all the usual shit.
7. I am going to read Getting Things Done, and I am going to make an effort to stop being such a hopelessly disorganised half-whit in my personal life. In a fine example of irony, I have had this book in my collection for six months, I have yet to get further than a couple of pages into the preface! :)
   
8. I'm going to try cycling to work if they have a shower at the new place and somewhere safe to park. (This will get me off the hook with the treadmill, if it comes off.)
9. I will start to cook for myself, and stop with the tinned/packeted shit.
10. Less alcohol, its been getting out of hand of recent. Back to 14 units a week, not 21 a night!
    

Meh crap weather!

We decided to head down to the "Big Park" so that Angel could have some fun on the playground furniture. (And of course, so that I could secretly practice my swinging for my upcoming swinging duel!)

We got there, the weather turned to crap, just as Angel got as high as she was able to swing. Bloody typical!

So we got into the car and had a drive around the local countryside. We first went to Pately Bridge and then carried on the journey to Stump Cross Caverns (bear in mind we had no idea where we were going, we were just out for a drive here). At the caverns we stopped at the tea rooms, had a nice cuppa (and obviously I didn't break the "1992 Tea and Confectionery Act", and I had a Vanilla Slice too).

When we got home, I started some serious thought about my new year's resolutions... more to come later today I think...

Happy New Year!

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The plan...

Is to stay in for the night, watch telly and spend the time into the new year with my family.

A good plan if I do say so myself.

I hope you are all having fun in your own special way.

Out to the cinema

My mum was working last night (she is a night nurse), and my dad was working today, so in an effort to leave the house and let mumsy get some much deserved sleep, I got up nice and early and took Angel out with me to see a film at the cinema.

We went to see Lemony Snicket's: A Series of Unfortunate Events, well worth going to see. After that we went to Pizza Hut and had a nice meal, and finally we ran off a few of those calories down at the park back in town. (I may or may not have taken the opportunity to practice my swinging for the upcoming duel!) Finally, we headed home, and waited for grandma to get up. (Which took all of about 30 seconds, I suspect she was dozing in bed awaiting our return.)

Later on, I went to see a couple of friends and we chatted about house buying, speed dating and stuff in general, it was a good evening, I ended up walking home very drunk.

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy day

I have done nothing but eat, sleep, read, walk to the park, and converse on IM with my new cyber-lady-friend today.

I didn't get out of bed until the afternoon.

Going to the park was fun, my mum and Angel were on one side of a see-saw and I was on the other, I don't think I have been on a see-saw since I was a kid of about 7-8 years old!

I also went on the swings and had a really cool time, racing Angel while she perfected her swinging technique.

Going top the park was cool, I can't wait to go again. :)

Then later this evening I went online to chat to Sandy my new Internet lady. She has challenged me to a duel on the swings in the park when we meet up.

I am the laziest person on Earth, hear me roar... (when I can be arsed to get round to it!)

100%

I have been conversing with someone via email and text for a couple of weeks, we met via Face Party a few weeks ago. (Regular readers will know FP is my own little disaster area of personal experience.) This evening was the first time I have chatted to her via IM, and it was a blast.

The humorous bit was at the end, when I was too tired to go on, and she said, "I'm sorry to have kept you up all night", and I responded with, "It's no problem, it's not like I have work in the morning". She came right back at me and told me I had scored 100% for our first conversation and then explained it to me.

This was news to me, I didn't realise I was being graded! But aceing a test is aceing a test right? :)

The explanation is that she had met so many nutters on FP that she has taken to keeping a few things in mind when meeting anyone new. When you chat to someone via email or via text, you have the time to think and consider your responses, but with IM, you can't dwell for an hour and come back with something witty. You have to be genuinely witty, or it just doesn't work on IM. Also in much the same way, it is hard to cover your tacks, and act in a way other than your natural one in "real time", unless you are an extremely accomplished liar.

It seems that since I didn't drop into sexual innuendo, act like an insensitive cock and I managed to be a funny chap, that I managed to score 100%. The icing in the cake being my answer to the statement posed to me above. I suspect (and so did my conversational partner) that "Sorry to have kept you up all night", would garner some response implying the sleepless night was sexually related, perhaps, "Oooooh darling, you can keep me up all night any time wink wink ;)" etc. But since I'm the perfect gentleman, that thought never entered my head!

Yay, someone thinks I'm great!

Take that evil carpet!

I'm absolutely shattered, at short notice I went with my parents and Angel to their new place on the coast. The builders will be arriving a week early, so the place needed the old carpets taking up and the wallpaper stripping.

It takes a couple of hours to get there by car and once we had got there, I got changed into some crappy clothes and got to work straight away. The carpet has been there for ever!

There were bits of the carpet that had been covered since installation and the colour was so vibrant compared to what was removed, this carpet had been there so long that it had rings sewn into the bottom and each of the rings was looped over a nail in the floor, all the edges were folded back and stitched in place and the underlay didn't quite reach the edges to account for that extra thickness. I've never seen anything like it, so I'm guessing that this is how carpets were laid properly (before carpet rails were invented). Underneath the underlay, we found an old newspaper spread out, it was dated 10th May 1963, so the carpet had been laid originally some 10 years before I was even born! Now that is a hardwearing carpet!

Are you bored with the carpet anecdote yet? :)

I'll shut up now. :)

Never again...

Well today my brother and his g/f headed home, back to their place back down South.

Yesterday was the last day that my whole family would be in the house me and my brother were brought up in.

I will visit before my parents move, and possibly my brother will, but the likelihood of us both being here at the same time is negligible, and so an era has passed, my family at the family home is no more.

Onward and upward to better things.

Christmas on a child's face

I got up nice and early this morning, and went to pick Angel up. Then we drove all the way back to Yorkshire. The journey was reasonably rapid, there was a little turgid traffic flow at points, not enough to complain about though.

We got here for a little before 1PM, and almost immediately sat down to lunch, a big lamb roast, see yesterday's list of roast contents, substitute lamb for turkey and you have the definitive list once more.

Then we opened the presents that were left over from yesterday for Angel, and she had arrived with with a few presents bought by my ex (?!) ostensibly as presents from Angel to the rest of the family.

Later in the day, Angel watched a DVD (she got a Disney Princess TV and DVD player), my brother and g/f went to see a friend, I played at master bridge builder, dad had an afternoon nap, and mumsy read her book/watched stuff she had recorded off the TV.

A big cold selection was delivered for dinner, then the rest of the evening was spent lazing.

I was the last to go to bed, having been up until 3AM beating just one last bridge problem. (Ah, the cruelty of a limited budget and a massive span!) :)

No I don't want sympathy in the morning. :)