A fine day

Started with Borough Market after a bit of an over sleep, followed by The Incredibles.

Just for the record anyone with a dodgy copy of this film, should go watch it down the cinema, you will not be able to appreciate this at home on your 19" monitor! Pixar (and Disney I suppose) deserve your cash for this film, its a cracker!

More superlatives!

And more here! :)

Found out today that my daughter A has been bullied at school for the last few weeks, I'll be dropping by the school to lay down some ground rules with the headmistress of the school.

I was bullied terribly at school and I know how utterly soul destroying an experience it can be. (Like you hadn't guessed!)

That's not happening to my little angel, so the school have a couple of weeks to sort it out, and if there are no results, angel is going to get a crash course in kicking the living crap out of her adversaries. Obviously I'll be telling the headmistress this, so she has some incentive to get the problem fixed at source before I introduce the tools to A for her to fix it the hard way. It's all very well having a "Bullying policy" but if a kid (well my kid really) is being bullied, policy-schmolicy, the shit is going to hit the fan.

I shall keep you informed.

Starting to get really excited about buying the house, I'm all a quiver, I'm even seriously thinking about working again! (Wow!) I seem to be really energised and positive right now. Cool!

I got dumped :)

Obviously S is a drama queen, she needs to feel agitated, so she invents a little drama and dumps me as a result after each date. Then we chat, she calms down and then we are ok. (Sheesh.)

Anyway it appears (and I have to read entrails here) that I was dumped today because I didn't stay the night last night and sleep with her.

No, it doesn't make sense to me either. But I'm pretty sure that the whole "Male Vs. Female" logic thing comes into play here, so I have the wrong tool set for tackling this problem.

On the upside, I'm sure it will blow over in the next couple of days or so.

The rest of the day was spent looking at houses to buy, I think I have found an nice maisonette with 3 bedrooms, a study, and a huge living room coupled with a huge kitchen. There is a little cosmetic work to be done, but I reckon I could offer £20k less than asking and get it! The vendor is (and I quote), "Very open to offers"!

Now I just have to get the mortgage sorted out, oh and a job, ha ha, just the right time of year too!

No news on the V front. Although, I guess I'm being optimistic expecting an answer soon (if ever).

Right got to go, must pick up the daughter for a weekend of fun. (Including going to see The Incredibles, yay!, been waiting a long time for this film).

Interesting evening.

So just been out with S, the crazy lady who dumps me after every date.

I went down to her home turf at Blackheath, and we had a lovely meal at a Thai restaurant, then we headed over to her place and chatted for a couple of hours, before I took a mini-cab home to the other side of London.

It was a top evening (even including a tarrot card reading, in which it was determined that on the outside I am positive, and on the inside I am negative, no real news there then!)

Lets see if the pattern repeats and I get dumped again later today... :)

Apparently

Apparently a friendship is not about closeness, caring or honesty. No, according to V, its about stimulation.

If you can't stimulate a person, you can't be their friend.

V had planned to avoid me until Christmas, and then decide if we could still be friends, as I wasn't stimulating her.

I am not a fucking entertainer, to be dragged out of the box on a slow fucking day.

I am really hurt.

Why is it that the people I meet have the unerring need to shit on me from a great height?

Last night I told V to make her mind up now, as I have no intention of playing at being friends for six weeks, just to be told to fuck off at the end of the day. Frankly, I couldn't pretend to be friends with someone with the Sword of Damocles hanging over the friendship anyway.

Today I relented somewhat, and sent an email telling her to take her time, but I'm not available until an answer is deliverable, amongst other things.

I am so fucking glad to be on anti-depressants today, I don't think I would be coping otherwise, for the last couple of weeks I have been fighting thoughts of self-harm, and desperately trying to keep positive, now this.

I wouldn't mind so much, but I fucking hide my state from everyone but my parents, and the people foolish enough to ask repeatedly, all I wanted to do with V, was meet up and get away from my life for an evening or two, not offload all my fucking crippling fucking clinical fucking depression.

She has no idea how hard it is to go out and meet people while suffering with crushing self -loathing, and still be happy and enter-fucking-taining.

On days like this I have to remind myself I'm a parent, for no other reason, the thoughts have to stay thoughts and not actions.

And no, I'm not being a fucking drama queen, I'm talking about how I fucking feel, a perfectly fucking valid therapy for being shat on.

Too hurt to post right now.

Maybe tomorrow.

More golf

More golf a little light food shopping, lots of GTA:SA, some telly, some surfing.

Oh and lots of writing notes to people on Face Party, I think I can conservatively say I have written about 200 notes to women on there over the last couple of weeks, and I have a hit rate of one in 15-20ish, there's an awful lot of rude women out there! How much effort is it to write, thanks but no thanks? No, not a lot.

Although in fairness there are a lot of women in their profiles who say don't bother if you are after a one night stand or are a weirdo or pervert... So maybe a few of them have responded when they first joined Face Party and got a torrent of abuse for being polite, and have decided not to bother... Who knows. Either way, as my granny used to say, "Politeness costs nothing".

I spend too much time explaining away other people's bad behaviour, fuck them, they are rude.

Oh, I have also been considering prostitution rather than having a relationship, I just can't be arsed with women, they are just too demanding!

V went as far as to forget that tonight was a possible, so once more a non-event. I officially give up.

Deep thoughts

Today was a lazy day, I didn't get up to much, apart from going to the driving range for some much needed practice (I will destroy MB the next time we play a round of golf!), and going to Brent Cross shopping centre for some essentials (new towels and a shower curtain, thank you John Lewis, and Halo 2, thank you Game). Hmmm, thinking about it, it was a busy day after all!

I have been doing some serious thinking about my self image, even though I am still following V's self love regime (less sexual than is sounds), I'm thinking some things need to be done for me to be happy about myself.

And so here is the list of things I am considering currently:

• Laser Hair removal (Back, Chest, Shoulders, upper arms, thighs and lower legs)
• LASIC Eye surgery
• Abdominoplasty/Liposuction

All the weight I have lost has left me somewhat saggy, with what might be described as "an apron", and I'm not happy about it. Something must be done.

I'm considering the laser hair surgery, as I used to get back waxes when I was married (for obvious reasons) and quite simply I am the missing link, yes I am that hairy. I think a more permanent (and less painful) option should be considered.

I think I'm going to make an appointment to see a couple of clinics down on Harley Street, one for laser hair removal and the other for plastic surgery. Later in the week I'll speak to my opticians about a referral for LASIC.

Oh and V didn't come round tonight, not in the mood once more.