An interesting sequence of events

Horoscope for the day:

"Someone interesting (the only kind of someone you like) is about to enter your life, in a very big way. Fortunately, you're always up for this sort of thing, so you'll go for it. As well you should."

Pretty much sets the scene really.

Over the last few days I have contacted a great many people on FaceParty, several have responded, a number of them I now hold reasonably frequent chats with on IM. Today was a strange one to say the least.

I saw her profile a few days ago, she seemed like a sorted person, she's cute and she is too young for me. :) But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? So I dropped her a note saying the usual things. A day or so later I got a note back saying she would like to chat, I responded positively, and today we chatted via IM.

We talked about a number of things, and eventually got onto the subject of work. She has spent today working on a business plan for a concern she wishes to start, and had got into a bit of a mess with the details.

Me being me, ever the helpful soul, I mentioned that I may be able to help, what with doing this sort of thing before. She wanted to know how much I would charge, but being Mr. Nice I said she couldn't afford me, so she pay what she wanted to pay. I firmly believe what goes around comes around. So helping out a stranger will be repaid in time.

She sent me the documents she was working on, and they were in a state, and while I worked on them, we continued to chat about all the usual things that the newly-met chat about.

She asked me what my plans were for the evening, and I explained I had none, I had planned to take this weekend easy as the last few have been busy. Some pussyfooting about later we had made tentative arrangements to meet up this evening.

Then the fear hit me like a fucking sledge hammer.

As per usual I had a bit of a freak out, a huge crisis of confidence and then a completely formed set of paranoid delusional fantasies appeared fully formed and well rounded in my head.

"No one likes you this much"
"No one this hot could want to spend time with you"
"She's a transexual"
"Something is terribly wrong"
etc...

We continued to chat and I backed off the idea, and we decided to leave it for another day.

We have now been chatting (in a very unintense way) for the last six hours, apart from a brief gap when she went to eat, and she comes across as a lovely genuine person. The problem is I have been so fucked over by my ex, who also started out as just the nicest person ever, that I now get a seventh-sense called the "Things are going too well" alarm. And once the alarm goes off (its like a very loud klaxon by the way), my mighty paranoid fantasy skills spring out from the shadows and take control.

So I may have sabotaged that one before it even started. Should have followed the horoscope eh? Ah, one of the curses of the human condition, 20-20 hindsight.

Oh, and on the subject of age, she claims to have come out of a relationship a few months ago with a boyfriend of the same age as her, but who was just not mature enough for her.

Anyway, I'm going to carry on with this business plan, its almost finished, and even though I say so myself, it is coming across as a work of genius. Yay me!

Phew, what a day...

Well I've been thrown several curve balls today!

The most minor was that GTA:SA didn't arrive, but an email from Amazon did explain that my card was being refused... Of course it fucking was, I used the card 6 months ago to pre-order the game for Christ's sake, the card has expired since then, I have updated my details on the Amazon web site! Pathetic.

I ended up going to Game at Oxford Street to pick up the game. Luckily I got a £10 voucher from Game a week ago, so yay the game cost me as much as it would have done on Amazon pre-order anyway!

The second more serious curve ball was thrown when I went to get my wallet to go buy GTA:SA, and couldn't find it for love nor money! Eeek. It turned out that someone had picked it up at the bar and handed it in. There was £20 missing, but since the wallet alone is worth a good couple of hundred quid, and the hassle of not replacing all the cards and the sentimental photos in there are worth way more then £20, I shall call the loss the finder's fee and not stress myself about it. Hopefully it was the person who handed it in who took the £20, in advance of me giving it to them anyway! :) If it wasn't the same person, I hope the thieving bastard gets what is coming to them. I firmly believe that what goes around comes around, with any luck they got home and found that their video recorder and TV had been nicked!

The third and final HUGE curve ball was an absolute gem. My car insurance runs out this weekend, so I went online and got a few quotes. The best one came from one of my previous insurers, an insurer who I left because their premiums suddenly shot up. (You'll see why in a minute!)

Once I had the best quote, I called them to give them my card details. They went though the usual questions... How long have you had a full UK driving license? How many years of No Claims Bonus do you have? Any accidents or claims in the last 5 years? And so on.

The final bit of this process was for them to check the insurer's database to confirm what I had told them... At this point the woman I am speaking to suddenly gets very shirty... "Mr. C, There were two claims that WE paid out for in 2002 before you took your business elsewhere, I have to inform you that failing to supply this information breaks the part of the agreement relating to blah blah fraud blah blah etc"

Er..., This was news to me, I bought my car 6 years ago and I've never claimed for anything, never had an accident, nothing at all ever!

To cut a long story short, it would appear that a couple of months before my marriage broke down irretrievably, a male someone was at my home while I was at work passing himself off as me. It also would appear that my ex-wife claimed to have hit a lamp post/street sign and that it fell on another car, and that a payout of £2000 was made to repair that car.

What is really impressive is that she managed to get my car fixed without me noticing a fucking great dent in one end or the other or maybe a new bumper and/or panels! Clever huh.

Or..., of course there is the other option, the stupid cow actually committed a fraud by lying to the insurance company and being in cahoots with one or more people to impersonate me, get someone else's car fixed on my insurance or even just get the money from a crooked car repair workshop.

Now bearing in mind, that when I and S split up, I realised that

1. She had stolen £600 from a savings account.
   
2. That accidentally open redirected mail (thank you Royal Mail for forwarding the wrong person's mail and covering the entire name and address window with your redirection sticker! Not.) confirmed that she had told the Child Support Agency that I wasn't supporting my child.
3. She arranged to impersonate me (whilst probably having an affair, why else would a man be permanently in my house while I'm out earning the rent?) and making fraudulent insurance claims on my insurance.
   

I think its time to play hard ball, in the financial settlement of our divorce. I think not pursuing a theft, a knowingly false statement to government authorities, and a fraud is a fair trade to get my house back, don't you?

BTW, GTA:SA is top, I may be unavailable for some weeks to come. I have asked a number of people to drop by and make sure I'm exercising and eating properly, ho ho. :)

A drunkard's day :)

Well I've just rolled in from the pub, I think I'm going to have a hangover and a half tomorrow... But my delivery of the next installment of Grand Theft Auto should clear things up! Yay.

Today has been really cool, and it started in a really nice way too.

Last night My daughters tooth came lose while she was eating her supper, and she started to cry. Its been wobbly for a few days, and it has been her favourite party trick to wobble it for visitors. (Aren't they sweet in a grotesque kind of way, ho ho). I asked her if she wanted me to take it out for her, and bizarrely she said yes. (whenever my mum did that for me when I was a kid, I ran a mile screaming!)

So last night I took my daughters tooth out. Obviously we'd be expecting a visit from the tooth fairy...

I dropped some cash under her pillow and left a little note from the tooth fairy:

Dear A, Thank you for your tooth.
We will be using it to make a throne for our fairy queen at her new winter palace.
Spend your money wisely.
Lots of Love,
The Tooth Fairy.
xxx

Yes I know, I'm a big softy at heart. :)

This morning I woke her up at 6AM so we could got to visit J (more of that later). And the first thing out of her mouth was, "Daddy I'm still tired, I don't want to go... I wonder if the tooth fairy has been!" Big wide open eyes! She looked under her pillow, and you have never seen a child so happy in all your life. She spent the rest of the day showing the note off to everyone that came anywhere near her, and gave them a big gappy grin to show the missing tooth's old home! Little treasure. Its bits like this that repay with interest all the sacrifices the come with being a parent I guess.

So we got the train down to see J, met up with J's nephew and headed off to see A Shark Tale, not too bad, certainly entertained the kids. So no complaints there. Then we headed off to Pizza Hut and I had a huge blow out, but given the fact that that was the only meal I had all day, I'm not complaining.

Then A and I got on the train home, all good fun, till we got to London and found the Victoria line on the tube was closed along the part we needed.

We ended up using the Northern Line to Euston, then walking from Euston to Kings Cross for the overland to home. And A, bless her little heart didn't complain one iota even during the crush of the rush hour Northern Line and the similar crush for the walk down Euston road. I have such a good kid, I'm really proud of her.

I dropped her off home an hour late, but because I had phoned ahead, no problems, A was a little tearful, but soon got over that when she got to show mummy the gap in her pearly whites and the note from the Tooth Fairy.

On a very bizarre note, just prior to dropping A off, she announced that she was both black and white, but a little more black than white. (I'm white, my ex-wife is black, just in case you haven't realised yet.) I asked her why she was more black than white. The answer, "Because mummy told me so, what do you think daddy?".

A careful balance of good parenting and an honest answer was required. I really wanted to say, "Well darling, mummy is a fruit cake, loon or whatever you want to call her, and you are mixed race, both black and white, but in equal parts, and to be honest, your colour is not an issue, you are you and that is all that matters", but I compromised with myself and my daughters needs.

I came back with, "Well darling you are black and white, but in equal parts, but what is more important is that you are you", which I thought very diplomatic, accurate, succinct, and child friendly.

My ex-wife really is a fucking nutter! What was she trying to achieve by this, was she hoping that A would love her more than me because A was convinced she was more like mummy than daddy? At some point A is going to realise that she cannot rely on her mother for an honest and decent answer for most things, all I can do in the meantime is correct as nicely as possible what I see that is wrong, and wait for A to make her own mind up. If I became overly assertive in my dealings with this kind of crap, I would probably end up hurting A or putting her in the middle of a war. This way takes longer, but eventually the analytical skills of A will mature enough for her to realise who is a reliable source of information and who is not.

Anyway, on with the day, I headed off to the pub to meet P & D, got very drunk on a bottle and a half of dry white wine, then headed home, and I'm really proud of myself, I didn't even buy a kebab on the way home.

Got home and had a little chat for a while with a couple of people, who were a little funny with me, till I realised that my usual image for IM had somehow been replaced with one of a soapy woman's backside! Some drunkard friend who titted about with my computer is going to get a slap in the near future!

I'm now finally rolling off to bed, and I very much anticipate the delivery of GTA San Andreas tomorrow curtsey of Amazon.... Fingers crossed.

A taste for furniture and home improvement...

A and I are going to Habitat today...

Have I turned Metrosexual? :)

Later we are going to the park, its only fair. :)

Stand back an Ikea bomb is about to go off...

A and I have just been up to Ikea and bought some stuff for a livingroom makeover.

My sofa is looking most tatty and in desperate need of replacement, but I feel that the moment you buy a sofa for a place, it becomes your place, and this is soooooo much not my place. I'm renting this gaff at the moment, and I'm looking to buy a place at the end of the year.

It is an agreed fact amongst my friends and I that buying Ikea beds and sofas is a bad idea, but they have a whole new range of stuff at the moment that is reallllllly good. I almost bought a two seater sofa and a chez-longue that I totally fell in love with...

But in the end I managed to restrain my hyper-purchase tendencies and just bought a throw for the sofa I have, I shall endeavor to delay until I own the place I live in...

Also cooked a lamb roast this evening for A and I, mmmmmmmm, I lurve lamb, it is my favourite meat by far, the new Tesco Lamb and Rosemary joint is just top.

Now I must depart to spend some time on IM and FaceParty.

Laters.

Yay!

I just had a tax inspection and it turned out cool! Woo-fucking-hoo! No problems at all, and not a formal censure in sight!

Less stress on my plate, right I'm off to spend some money, ha ha!

No, don't worry, I'm not buying you anything. :)

Good morning.

Yes, I was up until 4AM, and now I'm sat in front of the anti-SAD light at 7:30 having been up for half an hour.

Oh yeah, I'm feeling really good...

More coffee, yes more coffee that's what I need. Oh and more sleep, and less tax inspections. Er... and the will to do shit rather than procrastinate and doing stuff the night before when you know that the bloody inspection is coming up weeks in advance. Yeah that's what I need.

No sympathy thank you, all self induced! :)

Nothing spectacular

Well, sent my parents home and spent the rest of the day with my daughter in the park, walking along a nature trail, and then finally watching the Hey Arnold movie, before dropping her off to her mother's place.

The drop off this time was much less tearful and badly parented than the last, so all in all a positive day.

Somewhat amusingly I nearly had a freak out when I though I was going to be late dropping A off, when I thought that the clocks had gone back an hour, but then realised that they hadn't. Thank the baby Jesus for the Internet, and the ubiquitous information provision that makes my life livable. How did I survive before it arrived? I Shall refer to my life 15 years ago as Pre-Internet (PI) from now on, I was definitely living in the dark ages back then!

I'm now collating all my documentation for a VAT inspection, the tax man is coming to make sure I have been paying my taxes properly. My documentation is patchy at best, so I expect a formal slap on the wrists at some point. Eeeek!

On a positive note, I spoke to my ex regarding A, and since A is on half-term holidays, and I'm not working, we have made arrangements for me to have my little girl for a few days this week. I'll be picking her up tomorrow evening and dropping her off on Thursday before my weekly pilgrimage to the pub with P & D. Happy happy joy joy!

Right, I have to return to the evil that is document collation, I fully expect to be up until at least 3 or 4AM sorting this crap out. Not so happy happy joy joy.

Over and out.

P.S. Thank you Blogger/Firefox for losing the plot and making me paraphrase myself and retype this! I soooo like wasting my time.

Stupendous day!

My parents arrived late last night, we all watched The Swan (scary shit, I kid you not) I knew my mum would love it, and so she did. Unfortunately I got dragged into watching it too.

Then we all went to our respective pits to sleep, then we got up nice and early this morning. After breakfast we all did a two hour drive through the most awful turgid London traffic down to my brother's new house, so that my parents could check out his new gaff.

It was my brother's birthday too, so when he answered the door, he got several barrels of party popper at once, almost causing a heart attack (Yay!), all good fun.

Then we headed up to South London (Balham to be precise), where my daughter and my parents carried on home, and me, my brother and his lady all went to Pub Idle 2004.

Pub Idle is an annual birthday party for another friend N, usually in September, but postponed until October this year, at which a film is played (which we filmed earlier this year, this year's film being a remake of the Beasty Boy's Sabotage vid), then various people get up and do a turn on stage doing karaoke as the person they are dressed as. Oh yeah forgot that, attire is fancy dress as Pop or Rock star. I was one of the cops that I played in the Beasty Boys remake this year.

There is also a meat raffle... No, I have never understood that either. Suffice to say most disappointingly, I did not win this year either. The guy we hired for the karaoke stuff won this year. I may or may not have stolen a scotch egg from him before I left. :)

I have not drunk a thing all night long, so that I could drive home this evening, and now I am back home and I am shattered. But fucked up and wide awake from drinking Diet Coke all night long. :(

I've just realised that today is the 24th, which means that I have the VAT man visiting tomorrow at 9:30AM, eeek, I still haven't sorted out my accounts.

Looks like I have something very urgent to do tomorrow after I drop my daughter back to her mother. Mental note 6:30PM until 4:00AM - Print out invoices for last 3 years, look for receipts for last 3 year. (Ha fucking ha, like I have the receipts, I'll end up with a formal telling off I should expect.)

Oh God, I really hope that this week's drop off of my daughter is better than the last, I got to see some of the shittiest parenting ever last time, from her mum. The last thing I want is the transition from one parent to another being a stressful time for my little girl.